Letting Go...when do you know it's time to let go better yet, how do you let go? What do you do when you know someone that you've considered a close friend no longer wishes to be your friend? How does one handle this situation? Do you send an e-mail, snail mail, call them on the phone or just ignore it until the pain goes away??? This is a friendship nothing romantic...the romantic endings I know how to handle...I let them go.
I don't even know where it all went wrong. I know something that may have triggered a little uncomfort but to me if a true friendship it was totally manageable. Maybe I was just a bandaid until whatever this person was looking for was found then I would no longer be needed. I don't have an answer I just know everytime I run into this person it hurts...I don't like sadness and it seems to be hitting me hard this year. Maybe this is part of the change/transition I have to deal with and I'm not real sure how to. All I know is I want this pain to stop. It's on my mind way too much and honestly, I don't have space for this not so great energy...
Sorry, I just had to get this off my chest.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Random
I have quite a few random thoughts that run through my head constantly...none related to the other the majority come from observations I make throughout my day.
Today I'm at the Green Muse studying to take the practical part 0f my bartending stuff as you can see I'm holding my part for the procrastinating I love to do. 2 posts in 1 day. Note- I'm technically certified to bartend but finding a job in this industry is a tad tricky hence the reason I went to a bartending school- so they could find me the job. Back to the random. I'm sitting in a corner with an outlet (need new battery in order to be unplugged) and the majority of the place is empty with tons of places to plug-in and/or sit. There is a gal sitting in the comfy couch next to me sharing my outlet...no biggie. Random dude walks in cases the joint which is somewhat empty and he chooses the chair next to me which will sandwich me in to my corner. If I need to get up for anything I either need to perform acrobatic movements or bug him everytime I need to go to the bathroom. Yes, this random thought totally boggles my mind.
Today I'm at the Green Muse studying to take the practical part 0f my bartending stuff as you can see I'm holding my part for the procrastinating I love to do. 2 posts in 1 day. Note- I'm technically certified to bartend but finding a job in this industry is a tad tricky hence the reason I went to a bartending school- so they could find me the job. Back to the random. I'm sitting in a corner with an outlet (need new battery in order to be unplugged) and the majority of the place is empty with tons of places to plug-in and/or sit. There is a gal sitting in the comfy couch next to me sharing my outlet...no biggie. Random dude walks in cases the joint which is somewhat empty and he chooses the chair next to me which will sandwich me in to my corner. If I need to get up for anything I either need to perform acrobatic movements or bug him everytime I need to go to the bathroom. Yes, this random thought totally boggles my mind.
The Simple Things in Life
I swear the simplest things in life make me soooo happy!!! I love a good night's sleep. I'm not kidding when I call that love. After a great night of sleep I walk around announcing how happy I am for that rest. Last night would be no different. 9 full hours of sleep. I think I was out within a nanosecond of my head hitting the pillow. I woke up this am and thought ahhhh!!!
I won't lie that I'm a complete nerd when it comes down to me and my z's. The challenge of it is I also like to get up early so needless to say I'm usually in the bed with a book by 9pm...and I wonder why I'm single;) Not really but that's a whole 'nother blog.
This summer I came to the oh, so sad realization that sleep a full night of sleep will be few and far between until December 2009...that's when I graduate. The next 2 years are going to be a huge challenge. Some of my projects require me to skip an entire night of sleep i can assure you this is not pretty, not pretty at all.
I apologize in advance (this apology is good for the next 2 years) if I seem a tad cranky. I don't mean it I promise I just don't function well when under less than 8 hours of sleep.
I won't lie that I'm a complete nerd when it comes down to me and my z's. The challenge of it is I also like to get up early so needless to say I'm usually in the bed with a book by 9pm...and I wonder why I'm single;) Not really but that's a whole 'nother blog.
This summer I came to the oh, so sad realization that sleep a full night of sleep will be few and far between until December 2009...that's when I graduate. The next 2 years are going to be a huge challenge. Some of my projects require me to skip an entire night of sleep i can assure you this is not pretty, not pretty at all.
I apologize in advance (this apology is good for the next 2 years) if I seem a tad cranky. I don't mean it I promise I just don't function well when under less than 8 hours of sleep.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
8 Days In
8 days into this new "birth year" and I'm here to tell you we're not off to a good start;( My mood is a tad fed up at the moment. I will not go into all the boring un-fun details but I will tell you about the un-fun thing that nearly broke me...I think they say something about the straw that broke the camels back or something of that nature.
Let's go back to the beginning of June when the trackpad on my precious iBook decided to freeze up. I wanted to drop dead at that moment until I realized I could buy a mouse and still use the computer. Side note- when the trackpad isn't working don't get all techno and buy a wireless mouse because you still can't use the computer to download the wireless software to make the mouse work...yes, I did this. Well, the month of June was slammed with class/building stuff so I opted not to send my computer to Apple until school was out. This will prove to be my brightest decision all year;)
Long story just getting longer- I decided to send my computer in this week. I knew to back everything up which I had half-ass been doing but got serious about it Sunday late night. This will prove to be dumbest decision all year;( Send computer in Monday back in my hands on Wed. I immediately notice how CLEAN my keyboard is (you really shouldn't eat and work on your computer at the same time, right). While computer is warming up I decide to read the repair notes which mention they put in a new hard drive, cool I backed everything up. I start the long ass process of re-loading all backed-up files until I got to my main one, the one i refer to as my brain. Insert CD and all it says is blank. NO!!! Of course thinking I'm smarter than the computer I reboot the whole thing. Load CD again...BLANK!!! I will spare you the profanity I was screaming at the top of my lungs. My fit didn't last that long because I was immediately heart broken. All pictures, portfolio, resume, and all excel spreadsheets gone this thought made me nauseous.
The 2 things that kill me the most are my photos and my spreadsheet on all the books I've read. Yes, I'm anal but when you read as much as I do I can't remember which title, author and plot go together.
I have now wasted an hour blogging and catching up on blogs instead of studying;)
Let's go back to the beginning of June when the trackpad on my precious iBook decided to freeze up. I wanted to drop dead at that moment until I realized I could buy a mouse and still use the computer. Side note- when the trackpad isn't working don't get all techno and buy a wireless mouse because you still can't use the computer to download the wireless software to make the mouse work...yes, I did this. Well, the month of June was slammed with class/building stuff so I opted not to send my computer to Apple until school was out. This will prove to be my brightest decision all year;)
Long story just getting longer- I decided to send my computer in this week. I knew to back everything up which I had half-ass been doing but got serious about it Sunday late night. This will prove to be dumbest decision all year;( Send computer in Monday back in my hands on Wed. I immediately notice how CLEAN my keyboard is (you really shouldn't eat and work on your computer at the same time, right). While computer is warming up I decide to read the repair notes which mention they put in a new hard drive, cool I backed everything up. I start the long ass process of re-loading all backed-up files until I got to my main one, the one i refer to as my brain. Insert CD and all it says is blank. NO!!! Of course thinking I'm smarter than the computer I reboot the whole thing. Load CD again...BLANK!!! I will spare you the profanity I was screaming at the top of my lungs. My fit didn't last that long because I was immediately heart broken. All pictures, portfolio, resume, and all excel spreadsheets gone this thought made me nauseous.
The 2 things that kill me the most are my photos and my spreadsheet on all the books I've read. Yes, I'm anal but when you read as much as I do I can't remember which title, author and plot go together.
I have now wasted an hour blogging and catching up on blogs instead of studying;)
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